YES!!!!
I'm extremly happy about that! More than I could ever express. I know it's taken me like 3 weeks to take the damn thing, but I actually wasn't "grown-up" enough to deal with the consequences if they went the 'other' way.
::huff::
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In other news, it worries me about how much time City and I are spending together. Like right now...I'm sitting at his apartment by myself (I have a key). He requested that I come over tonight. I really kind of want to go home and just get under the blankets....put any movie on and just lay there. Its just...
I don't know. What if this ends up being another type shitty deal, like the last time. And thinking of this isht as I'm holding this dip test in my hand waiting for a negative sign to appear....I just don't want to have to go through this again and again and again with another guy.
Not saying I necessarily think that City is "the one". I don't think I really even believe in that any more. It's just like...the linear progression of everything is moving in a weird way.
But then I really like him. Like really really really like him. He makes me extremely happy. It worries me that, again, I'm letting someone else be in such control over my "happiness" state. But what can I say....City and I work so well together...but we are progressing at an awkward state, and I didn't notice it until he brought it up, and now it's practically all I can think about....
We go from Valentines Day (when we first met) and both of us saying later that we weren't even interested in each other.
Then to me staying over, and us not sleeping in the same bed.
And then I'm staying over and we ARE in the same bed.
Finally we kiss.
It takes 2 weeks after that point to have sex...and in the midst of that I meet his family and his closest compadres.
To us going out of town together.
Him telling me he loves me.
I get a key.
I tell him I love him (because I think I do...guess I do...I should, though right? If someone is nice enough to love me, I should love them in return??? Isn't that how this goes? I mean...I love City as a person...as the man he is and friend he is to me. But what's beyond that....?)
To us riding in to work together on the train getting all types of "you inter-racial bastard" stares.
To me sitting in his apartment...by myself.
Errrr??!!!
What the hell?
Is this what its like to be 27 and single with no fuckin kids or even a simple ass idea of getting married, etc? Is THIS what I have to look forward to? Huh?
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I am still praying for you mom's Bleek. And I am praying that Ki is going to be ok....that Crown will settle his ways....that Sexual-B will no longer be lonely...that Pink will get happy again...and that I can get a damn update from Omni!!! Goodnight.
Take that pound. #