Lemme see - Mike has been asking me if he could at least go to one doctors appointment with me, so he could see the ultrasound of the baby. And with no malice or anything, I decided on the next "big" ultrasound I would take Mike.
I mean, afterall, it could be his baby too. So why would I deny him of that, ya know. I just want to be fair in all of this.
So I had an appointment on a Tuesday to go in for this ultrasound at 10:40am. I get a call from my doctor's office at like 8:40 and the nurse is telling me "hey you gotta come pick up a diabetics testing kit, because you have diabetes". (And I know this is a very common thing in pregnancy, but in all honesty NO ONE wants to get that freakin call).
Mike and I get up and we head in for this ultra sound. As the lady is being "extra" nice and showing him all kinds of shots of the baby (head, toes, the heart-beat, etc) she looks to check the condition of my cervix...and it's "opening and appears that my membranes are coming through". (First of all, I had no clue what the hell "membranes" meant...I thought membranes are like in a cell or something...whatever).
She gives a call up to OBGYN and they are like "yeah you gotta come up here, will deal with that once you come in for you diabetic counceling at 1:30". Mike and I go grab some food, talk and chit-chat and go back to the hospital.
So Mike and I sit through this 1 1/2 hour diabetic counceling thing...it just wasn't the best. She makes sure I'm not having contractions and sends me home. In the meantime, JD hasn't really said much to me that day...but whatever. I accept that he gets just as moody as I do, so I really didn't pay it too much attention. I left it alone. He does text me late that night and wants to know how my appointment was and why I didn't take him. I explain the whole diabetic thing, and he was like "okay well let me know if anything changes". And I wasn't mad...I was like WHATEV.
Wednesday - I have another doctors appointment with the High-Risk doctor. We do some more diabetic stuff, she makes sure that I am clotting correctly after I stick myself with this needle....etc. She wants to do a test of her own to see if my cervix is indeed starting to open. And viola!! Yes it is. At that appointment I was 1cm. She was surprised because that usually doesn't happen with women who are pregnant the first time. She wanted to know if I was having contractions, and again I was like "no I don't think so". (I mean how do the expect me to know what a contraction is if I've never had one???)
The test comes back ok. The baby did some VERY interesting things during this "stress test/contraction test" thing. Like, there were 2 large disks they wrap around my belly, and my little child thought it would be FUN to kick the disk with all it's might. The baby kicked so hard once that the doctor literally jumped back from the monitor. Yeah...my kid!
Anyway - she puts this "device" inside me to "hold" my cervix and push it back. It HURTS. No more sex (yay!!) but I feel it when I move (not so fun). But whatever. Not really tryin to have a baby that lives in NICU for a while, so I'm doin what I gotta do.
Okay this whole time...I've been at Mike's house. Because after that whole text message fiasco, I honestly don't feel comfortable with JD. And really don't want to stay at that apartment with him. It's a very awkward feeling. Now I did stay for like 2 nights because he kept pleading with me...but it was very uncomfortable for me.
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So fast forward to the following week (last week).
We didn't talk at all throughout the weekend, or the beginning of the week. I am getting TIRED of me having to be the one to jump up and call and text him, and him monitoring how many "texts" I send him through the day and that equates to how much I love him. Like I'm gettin real tired of that. So I was like "fuck it, if he doesn't text me...then I'm not texting him".
And yeah, that might be a silly thing, but I'm tired of being judged on something as simple as "how many times I send a damn text message". I mean, he's 36!! Lets be grown ups - if even for a little while.
So on Wednesday - he puts up this status on facebook that says "had an awesome night lastnight". To myself I was like ..... hmmm, now did you? But I didn't say anything to him about it - I mean for what? I WAS pissed...but several brought out to me that he was probably doing that on purpose.
On Friday I could NOT help myself. I had to go up to the district to talk to the admin lady, and I saw all of them (the bike squad) out front. It irritated me. So after I talked to the admin lady, I wrote on a notecard "for the record THE PHONE WORKS TWO WAYS ---- but I guess it doesn't matter since you've been having an awesome time" and left it in his windshield.
JD texts me like 3 hours later and it says "what do you mean the phone works two ways". I tell him "you always want me to the one to say something first, you could have easily called too".
He says "well I thougth you wanted space so that's what I gave you. i just want you to come back, so I'll do whatever it takes".
That was weird to say (to me anyway) so I just wrote "really. okay well thanks, i'll talk to you later then".
That was that.
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Sunday I go over to the apartment to pack my things (the same things which he 'unpacked' a few weeks ago). I walk in and make sure the pots and pans that my mom bought were clean (I don't know why I did this first, but I did). Then I walk over to the bed, and am stopped in my tracks.
I see an OPEN pair of handcuffs laying on the floor on my side of the bed. WHAT.THE.FUCK!!! Let me just say this for the record....as a damn cop...we never leave our handcuffs open. I don't know why...but its one of those very odd habits we keep. ::shrug::
I immediately change my course and go to his side of the bed and open the top drawers...and what do I see? 2 condoms and a bottle of lube.
I lost it. Literally lost it. I could not stop crying. I couldn't even fucking walk. I crawled over to the couch, poured out everything and got my phone. I called him screaming!! (I got his machine) - I kept yelling "don't you fucking talk to me ever again! You have nothing to say to me..."
I then call my mom, she like tries to get me to calm down...I talk to Victoria a little bit and get it together. Then I pack THE WHOLE apartment (all my isht). So it's sitting in the middle of the floor, ready to go.
I leave the place, drive the few blocks to Starbucks -- and JD kept texting me and calling but I wouldn't answer.
He sends me this one text that says "please let me explain Ryan".
So he calls again, I pick up and say "EXPLAIN WHAT JAMES...EXPLAIN WHAT!!"
This is what this dude says to me...."Ryan, the whole bike squad was riding in 103 and they were doing free HIV tests at Rosedale Rec. And so I took one because they were free, and they gave me a bunch of condoms. I gave 10 of them to Mazloom...I didn't use those. I just had them Ryan".
I told him "you are such a fucking liar!! Do you think I don't know the lies you USE to tell your wife when she caught you cheating. You are trying to fucking pacify me like I'm some god-damn idiot. You're a fucking liar". You gave 10 of them to Mazloom, so this ass is walking around with 22 fucking condoms?! Why even keep 2 of them? It's because you are a fucking liar!"
He says "no no. See, not all of us took the test, about half of us did. So I gave 10 to Mazloom, and 10 to Thermidore".
me: "oh so NOW it was only half of you!?! And you know how many you gave to each of them? Damn you must think I'm some fucking idiot. (blah blah blah -- We are just rattling about the dumb ist back and forth)".
him: "Ryan I would just never cheat on you. I promise, I didn't know I had two more condoms in my pocket until I emptied them from my pocket. So I just put them in the drawer, but I wasn't using them. I just had them in my pocket".
me: "You really think I'm some kind of idiot. I'm a fucking cop too. I KNOW that we never ever leave our handcuffs open. Now all of a sudden they are. And what the fuck were they doing on MY SIDE of the bed on the floor, open? Fucking open James!! You know you are so full of shit!!! Did you ever take the time and think that the reason why your first wife cheated and left and your second wife hate you so much is because of YOU? You always want perfection and you are fucked up too you know. You are such a fucking LIAR".
him: "I'm fucked up? No you are. Why do you think every man you've been with always leaves? Just like Kelly with what's her name...he left you becasue you're so un-affectionate".
me: "Yeah well since you are such good fucking buddies with that bitch I can't STAND, why do you fucking talk to her about why me and Kelly broke up...and go fuck her while you're at it - I hear she's good at it" (And I hang up).
***On a side note...Kelly is the guy that I dated like a year and a half ago. At the time I was best friends with this girl...she liked him and wanted him. So needless to say they are now together - her and I are no longer best friends or EVER speak. Yeah... ***
But yep..that's was my last 2 weeks. I am going over today to get all my things. Then will go down to the leasing office and give back my keys and such....that's it.
Jeter - Monday, Sept. 28, 2009