It's not necessarily a "bad" day, just a "weird-ass" day.
For starters, I'm fuckin exhausted. This insomnia is actually wearing me the hell out. I'm so tired. But can't really sleep. I get really groggy about 8:30pm, and by 11pm I am wide awake. Luckily, baby has my sleep schedule, so by 9pm she is cranky and mad. And I like that she has 'figured' out that when mommy closes her eyes ---- she should close her eyes too. Its fantastic that that now works.
And...well, remember I was talking about K's daycare provider. I am just still kind of angry at the things that she told me. Like I still believe in my heart that Mike and I will get married. I really honestly do. Plus, in all of that, how can I be mad at Mike when I am the one that cheated, ya know. And then her telling me that I needed to wear make-up and perfume. I don't think I necessarily need to do that...I'm just having flashback of not feeling pretty and happy and etc etc etc.
I'm really having one of those freaking days.
One last thing, I think I'm pregnant. And I'm not particularly happy about that. I don't know why....because I've been raving about trying to get pregnant again.
But this crap this woman has said has gotten to me. I have never been worried about getting married, but now that today is the first day of Fall, all I can think about is the fact that I would have been married soon. And I want the little cat, Oscar, to go to the vet and then come inside. Mike is really against that...and I do love Oscar. ::sigh:: And I just miss Kennedy today. I want to go get her and hug and squeeze her. Maybe her smile will be the only thing that can brigten this gloomy day of mine.....